Guide to Becoming a Jerk Essay -- Expository Process Essays

Guide to Becoming a Jerk Being a jerk can be fun. It gives you a feeling of dominance over others; you are more important then the rest. You are the wolf among a flock of sheep; people fear you, and therefore look up to you. Being a jerk is not hard; all you have to do is think about yourself and your own feelings, and forget that everyone else has emotions. There are various ways of achieving this perception of importance; you can put people down and belittle them, pretend you’re better than everyone, or just be plain mean, unpolite, and nasty. Sure, there might be some little voice inside saying that you are no better than anyone else is, but you can drown out that nagging reminder with constant insults to others. Nothing replaces that great feeling of emotional triumph over one of your "peers". The fact that you have engaged in and won a verbal war (however one-sided it may be) makes you feel as high as the sky, while the opposing party will probably sink like a rock in quicksand. They will think t hat you are mean (and you are), and they won’t want to befriend you or have respect for you, but you won’t care because you perceive yourself at a higher standing than they are. The foremost aspect of being a jerk is to make people feel inferior by way of your comments and actions; this also gives you a sense of superiority, which makes you feel important. Also, insults can be spiced up by adding sarcastic and witty remarks. Degrading someone is easy; just greet them with a "Hey, loser", or a cynical "What do you want, _______?" (fill the blank in with your favorite witty obscenity), instead of "Hey, how’s it going" or "What have you been up to lately?". Start off by being sarcastically mean, and you have already got the jump ... ...you need to be disrespectful and insulting to others; you need to make everyone else feel lower, and if these people around you feel lower, then you feel higher. That’s what this world is about, getting to the top by stepping on others; the ends justify the means. While you’re working your way up, you’re also having fun at someone else’s expense; belittling others makes you feel good, doesn’t it? Maybe you won’t be the most respected and liked person in the world, and the only friends you have will be jerks; they could turn their cruel ways against you at any time, but you’re ready for them; you’re a jerk too. Fight fire with fire. Even so, that’s just a small price to pay to have the feeling of massive importance born at the expense of others. Besides, you don’t care if those other people are your friends, or if they respect you; they’re not as good as you anyway.